Thursday, January 20, 2011

Lighter

I told her everything, not directly, but she understood. I wasn't expecting much when i decided to come clean, but now i feel a lot lighter, a lot better.

They say time can heal everything, but there are also times, when time is unbearable. In my situation, there's nothing I can offer her, nothing I can do for her.

The only thing I have and can give, is time.

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Friday, January 14, 2011

communication has become the most difficult thing i've ever done.

I saw my friend posting this on her status, so I thought I'm in the same situation as her.

The closer you try to get to something, the more you are afraid of it leaving you. On the other hand, the less you care about it, the more you are afraid of losing it.

Trying really hard to maintain as friends, but I cannot treat her like I used to. I feel like confessing everything to her but I'm afraid I'll hurt her.

I tend to over think things and make matters worse. I'm praying, please God, show me a miracle. This miracle may be a very selfish request, but when it comes to love, I don't want to give her away...

Perhaps everything I said are words of a "loser". Winner gets everything, loser has nothing but himself to blame. I had feel so sad in the middle of the night, I woke up and wrote out all my feelings into a letter. If only she knew...

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Year 2011

One year left to world end?

Haha, im currently doing Fyp. Woah, i bet you understand the pain of Fyp! I was off with a rather rough start but now my passion kinda came back... wonder if it's too late to get an A now...

Anyways, I should be really sad right now but I'm trying really hard to suppress the sadness. Why? Can't you remember? The girl I like but I didn't confess. Now you remember? There are many things I want to say out, but it's just not good to type them out in a blog.

Just one quote my friend posted on Facebook,
"If you think its hard to say "I love you", Its even harder NOT saying it to someone that matters to you even if you try holding back your feelings"

For now, I'll be her friend, close friends. I'll wait.

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Friday, May 14, 2010

A post after so long

Quite some time since my last post. It doesn't matter since this is not a daily activity blog.

Anyway, I decided to post because my friend reminded me I had a blog. Let's see, has anyone tried posting in point form? Let me summarise what happened so far...

1.I think I'm beginning to understand what Derek said about loving a project.

2.A friend of mine says she sees me as a dark horse. It kinda makes me happy because now I know there are people who acknowledge the effort I put in.

3.There's this girl I keep thinking of, I think I like her. shhh...tell me about it when you're together with her.

4.I have quit Dota and plays only Maple casually.

5.I'm going on a fat diet, hoping to gain 10kg by November.

Smile and go on. That's what heroes do =]

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Primary school gathering

3 Days ago, I had a gathering with my primary school classmates. Pretty amazing how we are still in contact and much more, have a gathering. So we chat and did some catching up with each other's lives. Some were shocking, some were unbelievable but most importantly, they were all interesting. Some of us never change, I mean both in appearance and personality. I think I belong to the those who changed a lot. It's like everyday, I get struck by reality. Bit by bit, I wake up and learn to differentiate between the ideal world I believe in and the real world.

We had a Bbq gathering at Rachel's house. Some of us didn't turn up but there were still at least half the class there. The guys who completed Jc are preparing for Ns, the girls who completed Jc are still in holiday. And the guys who are still undergoing Poly (me) are now back in school. I'm sure you have finish your Ns by now, so what are you up to now? Working? I promise you that I will enter an University, so don't give up yet okay?

Are you still having primary school class gathering? How much has everyone change in these 3 years?

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Primary school memories

Today, or technically yesterday, I went to my primary school classmate's house. I could remember the corridor but I couldn't remember which floor of the block is it. So, Julian had to meet me at Macdonald's to bring me up. At around 11.30pm, was it? Anyway, around that time I bought my supper for the night at Mac and waited for Julian.

First impression, wait, not "first impression" since I seen him fours years ago. Second impression? His hair is definitely longer, he still looks fair and he wasn't as tall. I meant he grew taller but I grew more, so the angle I look at him now is shoulder to shoulder rather than head to shoulder. You get what I mean, Zack?

So, after fours years, I stepped into his house yet again! Everything seems the same, the spot where we used to wrestle, the sofa, the computer. Maybe there are some changes but I couldn't notice it. I remember when I was a kid, I used to run around the rooms but now, it's common courtesy not to enter other people's master bedroom so I stayed at the study room.

I am super amazed his sister remembered my name. I was primary six then, I couldn't even remember my school's spelling words yet his younger sister can remember my name until now. Claps* His sister grew taller, wait, duh, who goes shorter? Anything else? I couldn't tell cause I wasn't wearing my glasses. Yea, there is! She talks. I mean I didn't hear her talking when I was a kid, not as much. Haha, well, a cheerful girl.

We stayed awake the entire night. Maybe it's cause we haven't seen each other for so long so the excitement kept me awake. But right now, I'm at my own house, my own room alone, nobody's home cause my family went overseas for holiday. I turned on my air-con and it's getting really comfortable to fall asleep even as I'm typing...

I left at around 1pm today. I thought of taking bus 28 home and buying food from the coffee shop under my block. But when I reached the bus stop, I continued walking to block 201 area . Maybe the smell of food from the coffee shops there attracted me... I bought a packet of nasi lemak and proceeded to get my favorite Blueberry milk tea. Only then, I walked back home. Yea for me, I saved the bus fare.

I'm so hungry now that I'm going to stop typing and start eating.

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Badminton

What sport are you doing now? I'm into badminton currently. Today I played a very good match. I think it's what we call "on form". Haha, the session was arranged very sudden because my course mate wanted to play. So we book the courts immediately using the school's computer lab.

I could see each shuttlecock clearly today, I could even counter my opponent's smashs which usually would have bypass me. But there was something weird though, on a few instances I could see the shuttlecock moving, but my legs wouldn't respond and move towards it. I think I need more training so that my body can respond as fast as my eyes. Or maybe not, cause I just happened to be on really good condition today.

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

More weird dreams.

This morning, I woke up and my knuckle was bleeding. I think I must have accidentally punched the wardrobe while sleeping. I dreamt that I was a bodyguard with this really cool weapon. It was like a knife that can be thrown and pulled back. You might think it's a Kunai attached to a string but it isn't. Lucky for me, I didn't got stab in my dream. Have you ever feel the pain when you are stabbed in your dreams? It's weird that you feel something but it isn't painful.

I also had other weird dreams but I can't recall them. Don't you find it weird when you sometimes can't remember what you dreamt when you wake up? And my friend told me that what you see in your dreams are always the opposite in real life, is that true? What do you think Zack?

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Dreams and nightmares

I have been having really weird dreams lately. I dreamt about my lecturers, friends, animals, girls, strangers and even monsters. What causes dream? Is it a secret desire within one's self? Do you still have weird dreams like I do? Or maybe you have already accomplished what you set out to do and life is complete.

"Unattainable dreams are the best" I'm always reminded of this quote. Sometimes, I find myself imagining the impossible, or at least impossible for me. Is it good or bad?

Dreams, I remember I wanted to be a policeman when I was a kid. Then I fell in love with drawing and started designing. Now, I wish to be an interior designer. Will my dream change after I finish SIP next year or maybe when I finish NS?

I do know what I truly wish for now. I want to learn to play the piano, I want to learn Japanese language, I want to change.

Yours sincerely,
Me.

Friday, November 27, 2009

The start of 1095 days

If you are reading this, it means it's year 2012. Haha, and they say the world will end in 2012.

I found a new blog skin and with a little editing, I have made it into a letter format. Everything written in this blog will be addressed to the me 3 years from now. After 3 years, you will read it with me and see how much I have changed.

Anyway, I have also started running at the park at night for almost 1 month now. Like this blog, I want to see how will it affect me after 3 years of daily jogging. So, tell me how fit you are when you finish serving NS k?

Till then, I wish you all the best for everything.

Yours sincerely,
Me.

This book is written to myself.
To be read again in 3 years time. Started on 27/11/09.
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